BachelorettealumCraig Robinsonis opening up about his struggle with drugs and how the depth of his addiction led him to attempt to take his own life last year.
Even before Robinson competed for the heart ofAli Fedotowskyduring the sixth season ofThe Bachelorettein 2010, he had begun using cocaine on a regular basis.
In an interview on theReality Steve podcast, the former reality star shared that he was 18 when he tried the drug for the first time.
“There’s drug addicts that enjoy opiates or enjoy smoking pot or things of that nature where they enjoy to be mellow, to be brought down a bit. I always liked to be up in the sky. To feel the rush that cocaine gave me,” he explained.
After first experimenting with cocaine, Robinson says he “started to do it if not every weekend, at least twice a month throughout college,” although he still continued to do well in school — and eventually law school.
The former reality star went on to share that following his time onThe Bachelorette, his drug use “ramped up” because he was suddenly getting “paid to go to parties and just go drink and be offered drugs.”
Craig Robinson and Ali Fedotowsky.Rick Rowell/ABC/Getty
Robinson’s cocaine use steadily progressed over the years, until it became a daily habit about three years ago, during which time he became “miserable” about the frequency of his usage.
“Most of my days consisted of first of all trying to tell myself and pep talk myself into saying this is the last time,” he shared, adding that during this period of his life, he would stay up for “several days straight” using the drug.
Although his involvement with the foundation stemmed from a desire to help others, there was also a personal factor at play. “I was getting to a place in my own mind where I was starting to get those same kind of thoughts,” he explained. “In an ironic way, it was really a way to kind of treat myself and help myself for my own depression and suicidal thoughts.”
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Robinson says he hit a low point towards the end of 2017.
“I just knew in my own head that with how deep the situation had gotten, even though I was still functioning at work and being where I needed to be…I really started to realize at that point in time that I wasn’t physically or mentally capable of continuing to work under the addiction that I was under,” he explained.
Robinson left his job in 2018 and for the next four months, until June of that year, he “was in almost pure isolation from the world” and would rarely leave his apartment in Philadelphia.
During that point, Robison says he began “thinking pretty deeply” about suicide.
That month, Robinson did try to take his life, but was unable to go through with it.
One day that summer, on the way to the train station, Robinson opened up to his father about what was going on in his life.
“I felt like I was taking a train to my own death,” he remarked.
Robinson checked into a rehab facility in Pennsylvania, and after spending 30 days there, he was transferred to another rehab facility in Florida. Since getting out of rehab in November, he has stayed sober and moved down to Florida.
“I decided to move down here because I developed a really strong group of people down here, friends that are sober and know the lay of the land and how to stay sober and have fun in sobriety,” Robinson explained.
“That’s really what I needed,” he continued. “Just to hear that things were gonna be okay. There was hope out there.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “home” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
source: people.com
