The Incredible Hulk ’s M.O. errs toward smashing crap , shout out ego - aggrandizing slogans , and the mystic power to perpetually be within a five - mi radius of a violet sweatpants factory . But it ’s unjust to pigeonhole the Green Goliath as a one - note behemoth . The trueness is , laughable author over the decades have weave a various tapis of stories about a giant , emotionally disturbed man with radioactive isotopes for melanin .
But would all of these stories go over in the multiplex ? Goodness , no . Here are ten Hulk plot points that are slightly less absurd than that one prison term Nick Nolte transforming into a da Gamma - powered tramp god .
10 . ) The Hulk becomes a giant pile of tumors
In Warren Ellis ’ 1995 “ everything that can go wrongly in the Marvel Universe does go wrong ” alternate world miniseries Ruins , Bruce Banner pull through his friend Rick Jones from the da Gamma bomb , like in normal continuity .
But instead of becominga graphic symbol hold dear enough to clothe toilette paper , he becomes a massive lump of malignant yuck .
https://gizmodo.com/this-hulk-toilet-paper-comic-is-the-apex-of-bathroom-re-5570659
9 . ) The Hulk tries to mate with She - Hulk
Let ’s now avert our regard to this in - continuity Hulk story , in which the Hulk experiences radioactive Pon farr and hear to slam his full cousin . In 2000 ’s Incredible Hulk yearbook , the Hulk is feeling particularly horny and requires a Ilex paraguariensis who can withstand his primal lovemaking . He preens by smash up Central Park and then choose She - Hulk as his chosen paramour .
She eliminate himand the Hulk jump off to hunch over some mesa or tableland or whatever topographic feature of speech he grinds against when his genitals is disappointed . I assume this is why he ca n’t contribute himself to go to Avengers reunification cookouts anymore . Which brings us to our next point …
8 . ) The Hulk successfully mates with She - Hulk
The Hulk in conclusion got his wish in the 2008 alternate dimension news report discharge Old Man Logan , which featured Bruce Banner as the main villain of a post - apocalyptic California . After conk insane and becoming so irradiated he does n’t need to translate into Hulk , Bruce breeds with She - Hulk and pumps out an entire brood of superhuman chawbacon . Yes , this story has Hulks running around sporting trucker hats . ( That ’s vicious backwoods Hulk at the top , by the path . You could attain a home rivulet with a follicle of that back hair . )
7 . ) The Hulk assaults a PBS company
For those of you keep track at dwelling house , you ’ll commend that those seventies kids ’ comics known as Spidey Super Storiesare the gift that keeps on gift . These young - readers comics were in particular remarkable for transforming otherwise learned superheroes into blabbering spook . The opposite applies to Hulk here — instead of becoming stupider , he starts quoting Kermit the Frog . Classic !
https://gizmodo.com/10-times-doctor-dooms-dignity-went-down-the-toilet-5899111
6 . ) The Hulk drowns his sorrows in a hundred Tibetan two-piece models
In Marvel Comics ’ sort - of - different Ultimate Universe , Bruce Banner find peace through speculation , zen Buddhism , and tantric sex with a harem of nubile Tibetan ladies . He isunderstandably annoyed with Wolverine , who interrupt his Bodhisattva sleep party .
https://gizmodo.com/wolverines-10-most-mortifying-moments-5901083
5 . ) Batman beats the hell out of the Hulk
Your heart do not deceive you — this scene played out in 1981 ’s Batman Versus The Hulk crossover . As further evidence that Batman can do perfectly anything , the Dark Knight finish up outdo the Hulk after the Joker recruits the adult male - monster .
Of naturally , Batman wins only after Hulk tries to photograph the Caped Crusader à la Bane . This pageis ludicrously prescient of the summer 2012 movie season .
4 . ) Hulk off an entire disco music gang at the behest of yappy children
Hostess Fruit Pie adsare the gossamer chains of stupidity that control the universe together , but this strip is peculiarly crying . A bunch of children commence caterwauling about pastries , so the Hulk transforms the least imposing outlaw since the Apple Dumping Gang into an asphalt burrito . Notice how nobody is call the paramedics .
3 . ) Hulk hides from Iron Man and Thor by dressing as a goofball and juggling a pachyderm and a pinnatiped
by the bye , this scene occurred in the very first issue of Avengers , way back in September 1963 . Hey , the Hulk was never known for his nuance .
2 . ) Hulk is unable to orgasm on command
The year was1984 , the sort of year when an noncitizen with the power to overwhelm sentient beings with sexual pleasure could link the Avengers . That lineament wasStarfox , the comrade of the cosmic despot Thanos . Even if Starfox had bring home the bacon in psionically drown the Hulk in aphrodisiac cerebration , his O - face alone would have the Earth to reel off its axis vertebra .
1 . ) The Hulk is almost raped by gay man in a YMCA
And in a history electric arc that will constantly hold out in infamy , we have1980 ’s Rampaging Hulk # 23 , wherein the Hulk takes a break from fighting The Leader or Abomination to be lie in wait by two predatory homosexuals . These guys must have been get crazy , being probably the only two cheery dudes in the Marvel Universe at the time . author Jim Shooter ( rather rightfully ) caught a lot of shit for this strip show throughout the years . So yeah , this is basically theCruisingof mirthful books , and that very last instrument panel totally tosses all of the drama out the windowpane . For a similar moment , see Spider - Man ’s secret .
https://gizmodo.com/the-strangest-spider-man-public-service-announcements-e-5666301
AvengersComicsMarvel ComicsWolverine
Daily Newsletter
Get the estimable tech , science , and culture word in your inbox daily .
News from the future , delivered to your nowadays .
You May Also Like
